Committed: A Skeptic Makes Peace with Marriage |
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| Title: | Committed: A Skeptic Makes Peace with Marriage |
| Author: | Elizabeth Gilbert |
| Publisher: | Viking Adult |
| Type: | Book / Hardcover |
| Publication Date: | 05 January, 2010 |
| ISBN / ISBN-13: | 0670021652 / 9780670021659 |
| List Price: | $26.95 |
| You Save: | $11.20 |
| Amazon Price: | $15.75 |
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Editorial Review / Publisher's Information:
Product Description
At the end of her bestselling memoir Eat, Pray, Love, Elizabeth Gilbert fell in love with Felipe, a Brazilian-born man of Australian citizenship who’d been living in Indonesia when they met. Resettling in America, the couple swore eternal fidelity to each other, but also swore to never, ever, under any circumstances get legally married. (Both were survivors of previous bad divorces. Enough said.) But providence intervened one day in the form of the United States government, which—after unexpectedly detaining Felipe at an American border crossing—gave the couple a choice: they could either get married, or Felipe would never be allowed to enter the country again. Having been effectively sentenced to wed, Gilbert tackled her fears of marriage by delving into this topic completely, trying with all her might to discover through historical research, interviews, and much personal reflection what this stubbornly enduring old institution actually is. Told with Gilbert’s trademark wit, intelligence and compassion, Committed attempts to “turn on all the lights” when it comes to matrimony, frankly examining questions of compatibility, infatuation, fidelity, family tradition, social expectations, divorce risks and humbling responsibilities. Gilbert’s memoir is ultimately a clear-eyed celebration of love with all the complexity and consequence that real love, in the real world, actually entails.
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Customer Reviews:
• Committed Is Not Eat, Pray, Love...
28 July, 2010
And guess what? That doesn't make it a poor book only a different one. Can everyone who read Eat, Pray, Love and are considering reading this one please understand this one point? Look, if you're anything like me and love books you'll invariably find authors every once in awhile that resonate or appeal to you. Very often when this happens I'm apt to look a little more into their background to find out where they're coming from. This is always an interesting exercise and in the case of Miss Gilbert her background as a magazine writer, mostly for men's magazines informs her style. Thus Last American Man was written very much as a reportage of what she saw. Eat, Pray, Love recounted her adventures in finding herself after a difficult relationship and divorce. For those expecting another such book I think it's a little unreasonable to expect Miss Gilbert to be revisiting something she's presumably resolved.
Committed is the natural extension of this journey as she finds a man, falls in love and begins quite naturally to question all that we as a culture heap on the concept of marriage and being committed.
Having reached middle age and lived her life up to this point largely as a single woman she brings to the examination a more mature and balanced viewpoint than is currently popular in so many reality shows which continue to belabor the old canard of a "fairy tale romance". Not that these don't exist but romance and marriage just like infatuation and love are all very different things and Miss Gilbert deftly addresses these along with many of the cultural trappings that surround the institution of marriage. Hers is a fairly thorough but never tedious overview of how different cultures define male and female roles, expectations and dynamics not only today but through history. The issue of children, to have or not have them is one that many couples should read before embarking on yet another commitment all on its own!
All in all a very interesting read, an active reflection by a woman who is facing a choice many of us make or have made at early stages of our lives but who now looks at them through more mature and dare I say more sober eyes. Are some of her views unorthodox? In some cases 'yes' but that's precisely what makes them refreshing. My wife and I read it together finding it raised many interesting topics for discussion. I would recommend Committed to anyone who's in a relationship, married or not. A book worth reading is one that hopefully raises challenging issues - Committed is one of those books.
- Amazon Customer Review
• Ms. Gilbert Does It Again!
30 July, 2010
I bought Eat Pray Love after seeing a commercial for the upcoming movie with Julia Roberts. I couldn't put the book down! Knowing it was a true tale, coming from Ms. Gilbert's own experiences made me enjoy the book even more. So I knew I wanted to check out her sequel Committed. Much different story than Eat Pray Love-but just as entertaining. She once again shares her personal adventures this time in her quest to make sense of the institution of marriage. I think a big part of the charm for me is Ms. Gilbert's style of writing - she makes you feel like your having a conversation with her. Highly recommend both books!
- Amazon Customer Review
• Too Much Whine And Not Enough Eat, Pray, Love
21 July, 2010
I thoroughly enjoyed "Eat, Pray, Love" but this book is AWFUL! In fact I never finished it. It wasn't worth my time so I took it back to the library after I read about half of it. I couldn't help but think Gilbert was being asked to write another book after the success of EP&L and so she chose the only topic she could think of. She spends waaaaaay too much time agonizing over whether or not to get remarried and even suggests being 'forced' into it by the U.S. Government. Don't waste your time. Or money.
- Amazon Customer Review
• Not What You Think It Is...
30 July, 2010
Well after loving EPL, I was excited to read another story by Liz. I'm still halfway through this and don't think I will finish it. It reminds me of reading my Economics book at PSU my freshman year, my eyes just can't stay open and I find myself skimming over the words. I wanted so badly to love this story and be entranced by it but it's just not there. I'm sure that Liz herself had an immense pressure to write a follow up, and maybe that is the problem. It just doesn't flow. There are small stories that she tells about her travels and finding out about other societies' image of marriage that are interesting. Maybe someday when I have nothing else going on, I'll finish it.
- Amazon Customer Review
• A Passionate, Intelligent, Important Book
24 July, 2010
Elizabeth Gilbert's memoir "Committed: A Skeptic Makes Peace with Marriage" begins when a U.S. Government Official detains Felipe, Elizabeth's boyfriend, at an American border crossing. They were given a choice: either get married or Felipe would never be allowed to enter the country again.
Since they were sentenced to marry Elizabeth decided it's time to confront her fears and make peace with the idea of matrimony before she jumped into it again.
For the next ten months, while traveling in Southeast Asia with Felipe, a man seventeen years her senior, Elizabeth researched, wrote and talked to others about the befuddling, vexing, contradictory yet stubbornly enduring institution of marriage.
With great wit, wisdom, insight and compassion Elizabeth, at age 37, researched the history of western monogamous marriage and examined the questions of compatibility, fidelity, risk and responsibility.
Her inspirational stories speak to our souls. I particularly resonated with Elizabeth and Felipe's flagging morale after six months of no movement on his immigration case. Separated from his gemstone and jewelry import business in America, Felipe was unable to earn money or make plans.
Feeling powerless and totally dependent on Elizabeth and the U.S. Department of Homeland Security
he became increasingly jittery, irritable and ominously tense. Elizabeth buried her own frustrations under a sunny demeanor. Their tension reached a peak on a twelve-hour bus ride through Laos to an archaeological site. Elizabeth's writing soars in her vivid descriptions of their conflict and the bus ride. Felipe became numb to the unbearable heat and the manic aggression and near collisions of the bus driver who almost dumped them over cliffs.
Trying to defuse the tension Elizabeth tried some practical strategies from her past to resolve the dispute. Felipe finally broke through their heated silence by taking her hand and suggesting they be careful. "Being careful" is their code for practicing preemptive conflict resolution. He explained how when people get tired fights happen. Choosing words carefully can arrest an argument before it begins.
Her insight, honesty and openness about their relationship is breathtaking.
Elizabeth's observation that most of us have a "default emotion" is fascinating. She shared how her Cambodian guide had a default emotion of quiet disapproval. After two days she could barely open her mouth she felt so foolish, pathetic and bloodless.
She uses the story of her own life to explore why many American's get married and divorced more often than any other nation. She says American society believes in two completely contradictory ideas about marriage. Both have their origins in ancient Greek and Hebrew thinking. From the Greeks we inherited our ideas about secular humanism, the sanctity of individual democracy, equality, personal liberty, scientific reason, intellectual freedom and open mindedness. From the Hebrews we inherited tribalism, faith, obedience and respect. The Hebrew credo is clannish, patriarchal, moralistic, ritualistic and suspicious of outsiders. The collective is more important than the individual, morality is more important than happiness and vows are inviolable. Hebrew thinking sees the world as a clear play between good and evil, right and wrong with God firmly on "our" side. There's no gray area. Elizabeth says American society is an amalgam of both. Our legal code and sense of fairness is mostly Greek and our moral code and sense of justice in mostly Hebrew.
"Committed" is a passionate, intelligent, important book written by a woman who knows suffering and redemption. Her story is our story in it's rich humanity, humor and zest for life.
- Amazon Customer Review
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